The christening dress

there is a particular nervousness that comes with a christening invitation, and it is never about the baby.

What to wear to a christening is a midi or full length dress in a soft, quiet colour, with your shoulders covered and your hemline at or below the knee. Guests avoid white and avoid stark black. The mother of the baby is the one person who may wear white, and usually should.

What do you wear to a christening as a guest?

A christening guest wears a midi or full length dress in a muted colour, shoulders covered, hem at or below the knee. That is the whole rule.

A christening is usually a morning church service: stone floors, cool air, no heating worth the name, most of the hour standing. Then a lunch, often at someone’s house. One dress carries you through both, photographed while someone hands you a baby.

The quiet colours are not modesty for its own sake. They keep you from competing with the child in white. Soft clay, sand, deep green, navy, dusty rose. Anything in our dresses and gowns that reads as considered rather than loud.

What does the mother of the baby wear?

The mother may wear white, and most mothers should. She will be photographed holding a child in a white gown, and the two read as one image when she is in cream or soft ivory. That photograph is what the family keeps.

The practical part matters more than the colour. If she is still nursing, the dress has to open at the front, whatever it looks like on the hanger. I wrote about dresses that open at the front without announcing themselves as nursing clothes. She wants pockets too.

What do you wear to a christening in winter?

Choose a dress with sleeves built in, not a dress plus a wrap you will put down and lose. A church in January is colder than the forecast suggests. The logic behind a winter wedding guest dress applies here, with the hem longer and the colour quieter.

What should you not wear to a christening?

Avoid white, stark black, and anything sheer, strapless or short. Six things to leave at home:

• White, cream or ivory, unless you are the mother of the baby or have been asked.
• Stark black head to toe. In a room of pale colours it photographs as mourning.
• Anything sheer, strapless, backless or cut low. A godparent at the font is in every photograph.
• A hem above the knee, which rides higher the moment you sit down on a pew.
• New shoes, or any heel you have not already stood in for an hour.
• A print loud enough to pull the eye off the child.

Three pieces I would wear to a christening, and one I would not

I am a designer and a Kundalini Yoga teacher in Bali, and nearly everything I make is made for ceremony, so this is the question I am asked most in our Pererenan shop. Three honest answers from the dresses and gowns collection:

The Virgo Rising Gown, $244. The one I reach for first. 100% bamboo rayon, cut long with wide full length sleeves, a drawstring waist and a side slit. Bamboo rayon feels cooler than cotton at the same temperature and far warmer than bare arms in a cold church. One size fits most, in White, Dark Moon or Clay. The neckline is a deep V, so for a formal church wear a camisole underneath.

The Gloria Dress, $364. Silk and cotton, a round open neck, and genuinely deep side pockets. The round neck is the church safe neckline, and the pockets are why I keep recommending it to mothers and godmothers. Off White Perla or Dark Moon Black, S/M and M/L, with a matching Gloria Jacket in the same cloth if you want covered shoulders and nothing to carry. Silk and cotton behave differently from either alone: the silk returns the light, the cotton keeps it honest.

The Silk Virgo Kaftan, $398. For the grandmother, or anyone who wants one garment and no decisions. 100% silk, botanically dyed in Turmeric Gold or Botanical Rose, one size, full length. Open at the front, so it goes over a slip rather than on its own.

And the one I would not. The Anusara Evening Set is among the most beautiful things we make and it is wrong for this: the back opens to a single tie at the neck. It was made for the hours after a day lets go of you, not a font at eleven in the morning. The Diana Muse Gown is sheer organza silk, which rules it out too.

When should you order a christening dress?

Order ten weeks ahead. Everything we make is hand sewn to order in Bali by around thirty artisan families, never a factory. The timing is 3 to 6 weeks from order to shipment, then 5 to 15 business days with DHL. The rest is room to try it on and move a hem.

One honest note on dates. The last safe order date for delivery by 24 December was 22 October, which has passed, so nothing ordered now arrives for a December service. For one this December, a digital gift card is the truthful answer. For late January onward, ordering this week is comfortable. Here is how made to order actually works.

What to wear to a christening comes down to one decision made early rather than five the night before. Cover your shoulders, keep the colour quiet, leave the white to the baby and his mother, wear shoes you have tested. Then put the question down and be present for what you were invited to.

Frequently asked questions

What should a woman wear to a christening?

A midi or full length dress in a muted colour, shoulders covered, hem at or below the knee. Soft clay, sand, navy, deep green and dusty rose all work. Add sleeves or a matching jacket for a church service.

Can you wear black to a christening?

A dark dress is fine, but head to toe stark black is best avoided: in a room of pale colours it photographs as mourning. If black is what you own, break it with a warm neutral layer.

Can you wear white to a christening?

Only if you are the mother of the baby, or you have been asked. The child is in white and usually the mother too, so a guest in cream competes with the one photograph the family keeps.

Do you have to cover your shoulders in a church?

Most churches ask for covered shoulders, and some hand you a wrap at the door. A dress with its own sleeves beats a shawl you have to manage while holding a baby.

How long before a christening should I order a dress?

Ten weeks, if it is made to order. Ours take 3 to 6 weeks from order to shipment, then 5 to 15 business days with DHL. The extra weeks let you adjust.

With love from Bali,
Myrah