Unlocking True Freedom: Beyond Knowing, Into Being

This talk explores the nature of freedom, suggesting it's not something to be acquired through knowledge or practice, but rather a state of being that's always available. We'll look at how our interpretations of past events can limit our present freedom and how to uncover and move beyond these hidden constraints.

Key Takeaways

• Freedom isn't about knowing more; it's about a shift in your state of being.
• Our interpretations of past experiences create hidden views that limit our present actions and relationships.
• True freedom comes from discovering and removing these limiting views, not from accumulating knowledge.
• Conversations and inquiry are powerful tools for uncovering these hidden interpretations.

The Illusion of Knowing Freedom

It's interesting to consider that nothing we know about freedom actually makes us free. Think about it: all the definitions, all the reasons why you might feel you aren't free – these don't actually lead to freedom. This suggests there's something beyond just knowing and understanding that actually produces freedom. The conversation today is about getting an insight into the nature of freedom from a particular perspective. This view is influenced by thinkers like Martin Heidegger and Osho, as well as experiences with Landmark Education.

So, if knowing about freedom doesn't create it, what else is at play? Let's start with a story.

A sultan was searching for peace of mind and heard about a yogi in India. He found the yogi sitting under a tree and offered him a bag of jewels for peace of mind. The yogi took the jewels and disappeared. The sultan chased after him, exhausted, only to find the yogi waiting with the jewels. The yogi returned them, saying, "There, now you have peace of mind." This story highlights that peace of mind, like freedom, isn't a destination to arrive at. It's a state change, a way of being, not something to get or attain through practice. It's available at any moment.

The Birth of Separation and the Loss of Freedom

Another significant limitation to our freedom comes from the idea of a separate "me" and "you." When a baby is born, there's no concept of "other"; there's just being in relationship. Over time, the baby develops an identity – a name, like Tom or Vic. The moment an identity like "Tom" exists, so does the "other." This is where the loss of freedom begins. As an object among objects, we start to see others as potential threats. Our daily lives, filled with language that reinforces our objecthood, constantly remind us of this separation.

Hidden Views That Constrain Us

There are hidden views that limit our freedom. These aren't things we consciously choose, but rather interpretations we make about past events. These interpretations then run our lives without us even knowing they're there.

Consider a personal story: at 17, on a first date, I had all these notions of romance but no real experience. Trying to put my arm around my date, I ended up smashing her in the face with my elbow. My nylon jacket then ended up covering her head. The movie ended in awkward silence, and the car ride home was equally silent. My interpretation of this event? I was incompetent. This hidden view led me to avoid dating for a long time, severely limiting my freedom with women.

This is how humans operate. Things happen, we make sense of them, and we file that interpretation away. For example, a woman discovered at 55 that her parents' divorce when she was young was, in her mind, her fault because she'd crawled into their bed asking to sleep with them too many times. This hidden view meant she stopped asking for what she wanted, fearing it would lead to divorce. She couldn't be free until she uncovered this hidden interpretation.

The Bankruptcy of Knowledge

Knowing about freedom, reading books, or searching online won't necessarily bring it. The discovery of freedom lies within, not in someone else's account of their discovery. You can't read about someone else's discovery and have it produce that same discovery for you. Your interpretation of an event is unique to your experience.

Another example: in grade seven, I felt my teacher had a beef with the boys, especially me. One day, she kicked me out of class. While I was sulking in the hallway, the school bully started harassing me. The teacher came out, saw me being attacked, and her reaction was stunned disbelief – it didn't fit her paradigm of me. In that moment, I decided I couldn't trust authority figures to protect me. This hidden view limited my freedom for years, making me distrustful of anyone trying to contribute to me, whether a boss, mentor, or teacher. I would only take in information with one eye open, limiting my learning and growth.

Discovering and Removing Limiting Views

Freedom is a function of discovering and removing what limits you – these hidden interpretations about people and circumstances. It's not about learning how to be free.

Think about circumstances you're not free around. It could be church, sales, or anything that triggers a past interpretation. We often corroborate these limited views with others, thinking that if more people agree, our limitation is real. It's not; it's just a shared hidden interpretation.

Consider the story of Pam again. Years later, I called her to ask about that date where I'd accidentally hit her. She didn't remember the incident as I did. She remembered that day as the day after I broke up with her. She explained that when Rick, her ex, approached, she went to talk to him to protect me from him. When she came back, I was gone. My interpretation was that she was embarrassed by me; her reality was that she was protecting me. The moment I discovered her true intention, I was free. Freedom comes from confronting these hidden sense-making interpretations and seeing an alternate view.

How to Discover What You Can't See

How do you discover these hidden views? Not through introspection. The part of you doing the introspecting is often the problem itself. It needs to be in a conversation, an inquiry with someone who can help you explore the basis of your views. This methodology, when applied in dialogue, is potent.

For parents, you can't completely save your child from making their own interpretations. It's a human birthright. However, you can have conversations. You can ask, "Is that true?" For instance, a child who heard "no" as "never" could be helped to see that "no" doesn't mean "never," especially when you can point to instances where the opposite was true.

Regarding systemic issues like racism or sexism, wishing things were different isn't enough. Fighting against the system can be slow. A different approach is to "let it be." This doesn't mean resignation, but rather freeing yourself from the energy spent wishing things were different. This allows you to recapture your capacity to make a difference, unhampered by the human condition of "it shouldn't be that way."

Staying in the moment is also about recognizing that there's no past or future, only the present. It's about bringing all of who you are to this moment. Practically, when you're talking to someone, listen to what you are saying about what they are saying. When you can set that aside, you can truly be with another person.