Motherhood 101: Your Questions Answered on Stretch Marks, Postpartum Vitamins, Fasting, and Gut Health

This weekend, I decided to go live and answer all the questions you've been sending in about motherhood, from stretch marks and postpartum vitamins to fasting and gut health. It's been a journey, and I'm here to share my experiences and what has worked for me.

Breastfeeding Your Little Ones

One of the most common questions is about how often I breastfeed my son, Hiro. He’s a little over a year and a half now, and honestly, I don't track it. Unlike with my daughter, Soleil, who was exclusively nursing until she was almost two, Hiro is much more interested in solids. He sees his big sister eating and wants to try everything. He still nurses, but it's more on his terms. When I feel a letdown, I ask him if he wants to nurse, and if he does, he nurses until he's full. I never really monitored feeding times, even with my newborn. I wanted to go into motherhood with a clean slate, trusting my intuition rather than charts or external pressures. Soleil nursed until she was four, and we even tandem fed for a while.

Tandem feeding was excruciatingly difficult for me. It brought up a lot of anger and frustration, mainly because Soleil's latch was painful. It felt like a grief process, a selfless devotion to nurturing both my children. I felt quite alone, as many of my friends weren't going through the same thing. Social media also didn't help, with its curated images of what motherhood 'should' look like. I'm quite determined and committed, so I pushed through. Eventually, I had to explain to Soleil that it hurt, which then made her feel like she was hurting me. We eventually transitioned away from tandem feeding, though she still nurses occasionally when she needs that connection.

I've never pumped milk. I tried once when I had mastitis with Soleil, but she never took to a bottle. With Hiro, I did use silicone milk collectors, which are amazing for catching leaks while nursing on the other side. A game-changer I learned is to apply pressure to the non-nursing breast to prevent leaking. This is something I discovered myself, and it works wonders. I also never wear bras, just applying pressure directly.

Getting Your Body Back Postpartum

There's no need to rush to 'get your body back.' Your body did an incredible job. It's transformed, not disappeared. I did use belly binding, a technique from Balinese culture, though it's not commonly practiced here anymore. I learned to do it myself after Hiro was born. It involves wrapping a long piece of fabric tightly around your torso to help reset bones and organs. It's recommended to start belly binding after you stop bleeding, allowing your body time to recover.

Instead of focusing on returning to your 'original' shape, embrace this time as a period of selfless devotion. Continue eating nourishing, nutrient-rich foods, like bone broth. Listen to your body's cravings; if it craves something, don't deny it. Your body communicates what it needs. In moments of challenge, remember that ease is better, and less is more. Trust your inner knowing.

Fasting and Gut Health

I recently completed a 21-day gut reset protocol that was incredibly transformational, both physically and emotionally. It wasn't a complete fast; it was a structured program that included preparation and gradual reintroduction of foods. My husband had started it, and seeing his transformation – his glow, clarity, and presence – inspired me to join. I ended up completing the full 21 days, slowly adding in probiotic-rich foods. Since then, I've been fasting regularly on new and full moons. On new moons, I dry fast (no food or water), and on full moons, I do a liquid fast to stay grounded.

Fasting has helped me immensely. A few days ago, I felt flu-like symptoms, and a dry fast cleared them right up. It's about working with your body and seeing what resonates with you.

Postpartum Vitamins and Supplements

For postpartum vitamins, I highly recommend:

• Ashwagandha: Replenishes essential minerals.
• Magnesium: Great for postpartum recovery and overall well-being.
• Zinc: Helps with mood regulation, especially for passionate individuals.
• Vitamin D3: Crucial for overall health. A healer shared that skin needs about 45 minutes to absorb sun energy after sun exposure.
• Selenium: Supports the nervous system and adrenals.

I also recommend placenta encapsulation. It's a great source of nutrients. If encapsulation isn't an option, adding frozen placenta pieces to smoothies is another way to consume it.

Postpartum Diet and Milk Supply

For postpartum diet, focus on what you know is best for you. Avoid processed foods. Opt for iron-rich and mineral-rich foods, like dark leafy greens (though I'd research kale's benefits). Bone broth and nourishing soups are excellent. A great resource is a postpartum cookbook called "The Fourth Trimester." Warm cacao is wonderful for milk supply, as it's a blood-stimulating medicine that helps build blood, which then converts to breast milk. Fennel salads are also beneficial for milk production, especially if tandem breastfeeding.

Mastitis and Prevention

I experienced mastitis three times with Soleil. I managed to catch it early the second and third times. I relied heavily on homeopathics like Belladonna for fever and Arnica for body aches. I also used a homeopathic called Cinchona, believed to thin the milk for easier expression. I never took antibiotics. Other remedies include high doses of Vitamin C, hot compresses, and cold cabbage leaves, which seem to soothe the milk ducts. I also avoided pumping to prevent engorgement.

Bedtime Rituals

Our bedtime rituals have evolved. Currently, we make hibiscus and cinnamon tea, which my children find comforting. We also read books – sometimes a few, sometimes many! We used to do Kirtan Kriya meditation, but Hiro is now too active. We watch the sunset together before coming inside for tea and books. I let my children lead the process; if they're not tired, they're not tired. It's about finding what works for your family.

Sleep Training and Co-Sleeping

We have never done sleep training. The idea of 'training' a child goes against our philosophy. We believe in keeping children close, as this time is fleeting. We practice co-sleeping. My husband sleeps with Soleil in one room, and I sleep with Hiro in another. After Hiro is asleep, I join them. We used to have heart-to-hearts, but Soleil is now more independent. She identifies herself as her own person, so she doesn't need that nighttime ritual from me anymore. We cherish this close time before they eventually separate.

Circumcision and Keeping Things Natural

We chose not to circumcise our son. We believe he was made perfect as he is. It was a personal decision based on our beliefs. We aim to keep everything natural and intact.

Tandem Feeding Advice

For those navigating tandem feeding, be gentle with yourselves. Communicate your feelings. It's a challenging phase, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. I sometimes hid to nurse Hiro to avoid Soleil wanting to nurse, but I learned it's better to embrace them together. I also used a counting method with Soleil, counting to ten before finishing nursing sessions, to give her that connection time without it being solely for nourishment.

Preparing for Breastfeeding

In the second or third trimester, you can start stimulating your nipples to encourage colostrum production, perhaps a week before your due date. Nipples can get chapped in the early days of nursing. I found dry brushing my nipples helped prepare them.

Stretch Marks

I have no stretch marks after two full-term pregnancies. My routine included dry brushing my body, especially hips and thighs, followed by applying castor oil. Then, I'd take cold showers. This hydrotherapy practice has been part of my routine since 2012 and helps with aging gracefully. After giving birth and once bleeding stops, I also take castor oil baths.

Collagen and Scar Healing

After losing inflammation from a 21-day cleanse, my skin needed time to recover. I learned that skin takes about six weeks to produce collagen. I massaged, foam-rolled, and applied castor oil. I also make my own collagen using sea moss, boiling and blending it. Applying this collagen at night and frankincense oil in the morning has helped fade scars from a motorcycle accident.

Motherhood is a challenge and a gift. We are in a beautiful time where we can openly share our struggles and triumphs. Thank you for holding space for me to share my experiences. May you all be blessed.