New Mom Confessions, learning how to accept support and build a mother circle of bliss
Satnam friends, Myrah here.
Confessions… I had this judgmental attitude around mothers with nanny's.
My inner voice would say.... “Why have kids if your not going to take care of them”
I know, I know … what a total shortsighted mentality it was and I'm so happy to see all sides of this story as I clearly was only listening to the one I was making up!!
I felt lot's of guilt around that attitude and resented the fact that I actually longed for that kind of support that a nanny provides.
I had designed my life so that i did not need to have someone else care for my baby and here I was not realizing that support didn’t have to look like the nannies that I had growing up.
You see… I had my daughter in Canada and even though my dear mother was there for the birth, I was alone in the everyday care for our little one other than of course my sweet hubby.
No help from my elders and no one to truly trust in caring for my daughter in the early days so that I may have some much needed self care. Truth be told though, I was resistant to almost anyone helping anyways, so if the help was there I just wasn't listening.
New Moms! Keep Moving with Burst Exercises
Looking back at this now I am reflecting on the lack of exercise and movement I had in the first 3-6 months postpartum, being a California girl and having a baby in the middle of winter in Canada did not inspire much movement.
Movement is a fundamental key to keep postpartum depression and hormone imbalances at bay.
Which I wish I would have taken more seriously, which is why I'm sharing this blog post today for any new moms out there reading this message.
Dr. Kelly Brogan recommends trying Burst Exercises. We know that new moms don't have that much time so this 16 minute program could do wonders for you.
"Burst exercises, give you the most bang for your buck in terms of cardiovascular benefit and specifically enhancing mitochondrial health because it puts a special kind of stress on the body when you move to your max for 30 seconds that then recover for 90. I recommend 8 intervals 1-3x/week." Dr Kelly Brogam.
I'm really excited to share that I've created a video that you can access very soon in my new MOVING INTO GRACE online program which give you a very easy 16 minute burst exercise program based on Kundalini Yoga Kriya's to reduce inflammation and keep new mothers moving. More on this very soon!
My culture is that of Latin America, the richness of my Mexican lineage in “tribe” mentality was something a yearned for.
My husband @robindra, (god sent) is incredibly supportive and goes above and beyond the act of fatherhood, lover, business partner and friend. I am entirely grateful for him… However he needs his time too and WE both do AND we need our time together for bloom planning, romancing and simply being together.
The Birth of La Luna Social
In the search of finding connection and support I created La Luna Social (a women’s gathering network) 6 years ago and now flash forward it has bloomed into La Luna Mamma, an extension for the other facet of a women that is the mother.
6 months after my sweet girl was born I called out to the many new moms in my community and invited them all to come and share space together for an invite only Women’s Birth-Story Gathering. Not thinking that they would all show up due to nap time traps #MomLIFE, I decided to host in my tiny apartment and by the hour my small little apartment was flooded with babies and mamas… my heart was full, beyond expectation.
There was no storytelling, no ritual circle and meditative grounding jargon delivered by yours truly… however there was connection. The women connected with each other, shared their own stories, struggles, baby hacks and DIYS and all things “Who am I Now?” self inquiries. It was magnetic the magic that was conjured up in my tiny living room.
My Tribe of Bliss Found Me!!
In the middle of that gathering unbeknown to myself i had found my support, my tribe called bliss, my mom squad. 3 of the most inspiring women I have ever met.
These women have showed me how to show up for each other, not in the ways that I would expect #Virgo but in the ways that they were capable of showing up for me and for my tiny little family. We learn from each other and inspire each other and above all love and honor each other.
So let me reel it back in… My attitude of “I got this” has shattered here in Bali or cracked open really.
I am missing my mom squad and yet they are a text away or even a DM away I have found a sense of lightness in my ability to allow life to grow.
Soleil had her first day care experience at this super incredible restaurant called Joglo in Canggu while we made some planning for our Bloom festival.
For the first 20 minutes, I couldn't leave her side, I was nervous about how she would do, but then she turned around and went on playing, she after a few minutes didn't even realize I was there or not.
I actually managed to pull myself away after creeping on her for the first 30 min of this day care program at this wonderful resto and playground, that we truly just stumbled upon.
And after experiencing having the support of a Nanny, I get it now.
This space is so crucial for parents. Not just for me but for her as well…
Learning new things, new ways of exploring and potentially even a new language. She behaves and moves differently with new people and new parts of her emerge.
I feel like I will always be a new mother, for every experience is new to me and a constant recalibration is on 24/7. This is the NEW AGE Mother.
Long story short, I've learned my lesson to give things a try before writing them off completely. To soften the edges, to open my heart to more and more, I feel that's what parenthood and life is all about.
I learned to observe parenthood, motherhood with curiosity over judgements, because an entire world of wonder opens up when we open up.